Steven ‘Dotso’ Doherty, 43, of Bangor Road has become well known for the lights outside his home. Over the years it has grown from a simple set of fairy lights in a tree, powered by the generator in his caravan parked in the driveway, to an incredible display so powerful it can be seen from space.

Tasteful Crumlin light display doesn't come free

This year he spent 3 months custom making glowing snowmen, a neon Jesus and Mary, a Santa made entirely from LEDs, reindeers powered by Maglite torches and a chain of lights which outline his house run from an iMac which displays in millions of colours. He switched them on on December 1st but was yesterday declared bankrupt in the district court after failing to pay the ESB the €55,000 it has cost to run since that date.

“I’m gutted”, he said yesterday. “All I was trying to do was bring the magic of Christmas to my fellow residents and now look. Don’t the ESB have any heart? Where’s their Christmas spirit?”

However, a spokesperson for the ESB said “This puts the grid for whole area under incredible pressure, especially when you consider how many other idiots, I mean fellow Christmas revellers, have decided to follow suit and have the kind of display outside their houses that you wouldn’t even see during a Chinese Olympic ceremony. Electricity is not free at Christmas or any other time of the year”.

So the lights are out at Dohertys and while the street may not be as festive as it was some residents are glad. One woman, Marie Doyle, who wished to remain anonymous, told us “I live opposite him and even though I have black-out curtains it was like the middle of the day in my sitting room. I’ve been going around with dark glasses on the whole time. Frankly it’s a relief that when someone calls to my door in the evening they don’t think it’s Roy Orbison opening it”.

Since a row broke out over whose green areas had the best swingsets the Dublin suburbs of Crumlin and Drimnagh have been at war. Up until now the body count has been relatively minor, with a mere 1,456 people killed in the conflict, but many of those died from unsanitary conditions as they tried to exist and get kids to school from the trenches in which the war is fought.

Archive footage of Mourne Road, Drimnagh

However, Gardai believe that massive casualties would have been suffered by both sides had they not made the discovery at around 10pm last night.

According to Detective Sergeant Aloysious Nally “That lot would have made shite of each other if they’d got hold of these pipes. You think Omagh was bad? You think 9-11 was bad? You think Hiroshima was bad? You think the Empire blowing up Tatouine was bad? Well this would have been even more bad than that. Except worse”.

Recent pipe bomb atrocities have included the Star Roller Disco massacre in which 45 teenagers were killed as they skated to hits from Cameo, Alexander O’Neal and Hue and Cry, the John Bosco incident in which a number of underage boxers and their coaches were blown up and the Submarine Disaster which saw a hundred and twelve Liverpool fans lose their lives as the pub was attacked during the first Premier League game of this season.

It is hoped that last night’s find will help stem the violence for the foreseeable future, with Nally going on to say “As soon as we find the tobacco now they’re proper fucked”.