The world’s most deadly condition received broad applause yesterday following news that cancer had taken another major motherfucker out. Fresh off the back of some sterling work that spared us a middle-aged, televised Jade Goody, the literate world today rejoiced with the news that King Dong Ill is checking the fuck out thanks to pancreatic [...]

World-improving policies opposed by rich, fat, white status quo as Obama chooses venn diagram of goodwill over axis of evil.
President Barack Obama, the world’s best living human being, recently announced that America would aim for oil independence, thereby reducing the threats posed by its dependence on foreign oil supplied by sometimes hostile regimes. Republican Party [...]

A Dublin man was arrested in his Mount Street office today and charged with ‘lack of interest in the inauguration of a black president’.
Dermot Mannion, who works for an advertising agency, was at his desk when Gardai arrived on the scene, placed him in handcuffs and carted him down to the Pearse St station in [...]

The Irish Sentinel can exclusively reveal that one of the first moves of Barack Obama’s presidency will be to withdraw all US support for Israel.
The two countries have been long-time allies with the United States providing financial and military aid, often in the face of severe criticism. However, a recent protest in Edinburgh has provided [...]

John McCain has accused newly elected President Barack Obama of using Jedi help to get elected.
“I think we all know Senator Obama’s connections with both sides of the force. Remember, this is the man who betrayed his friends to Darth Vader yet flip-flopped away from the dark side when things were going bad for the [...]

News of the death of Barrack Obama’s grandmother has been greeted with scepticism by the Republican Party who have called on Democrats to ’show us the body’ ahead of tomorrow’s long awaited poll.
Karl Rove, advisor to George Bush, said “This is quite obviously a stunt by Obama camp. They release news about his grandmother dying [...]

Paddy Power has closed its book on who will be the next President of the United States after Democratic candidate, Barack Obama, received the ringing endorsement of Aslan front man Christy Dignam.
The Finglas troubadour has become renowned for his political insight and analysis – and has backed the winning candidate in the last five elections. [...]