Newspaper of the Century | The 2008 Hijinx Awards

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December 29, 2008

Israel condemned for further strikes on Gaza

Arnold Corns
Posted by : Arnold Corns
Filed under : World News

There was further condemnation of Israel last night as armed forces launched another savage attack on the Gaza strip.
The missile bombardment, described as ‘retaliatory’ by Israel’s foreign minister Yitzak Kilarab, came in response to a Palestinian attack on a Jewish family’s house in Lennox Street, Dublin 8.
In the early hours of last night a Palestinian [...]


November 28, 2008

Mumbai terrorist attacks deemed irrelevant

Arnold Corns
Posted by : Arnold Corns
Filed under : Tech & Web, World News

The recent terrorist attacks in the Indian city of Mumbai have shocked the world yet cultural experts have declared the events to be of ‘little importance’ and claimed they will be forgotten by history within weeks.
A team of so-called Cultural Scientists set-up by professors and academics at Trinity College in Dublin has outlined the criteria [...]


October 31, 2008

Child mauled in savage attack

Arnold Corns
Posted by : Arnold Corns
Filed under : Irish News

There have been calls today to outlaw all dogs after a toddler was savaged by a family pet in Artane yesterday. Liam Reilly (2) required 9,000 stitches to his face and upper lip after being attacked by ‘Mungo’, the Reilly family dog.
Mungo was taken to the local vet’s office and put to sleep shortly afterwards. [...]