The Israeli intelligence service has taken time out of its quarterly Irish passport panhandling exercise to compare notes about character assassination with the former Minister for Defence, Willie O’Dea.
Speaking on behalf of the visiting delegation, Deputy Mossad boss Finbar McGinty said:
“We were impressed with the direct way Mr. O’Dea tackled his mark. He said to [...]

Earnest celebrities and well meaning members of the public have today called for new disaster through which they show the world what caring people they are.
At a press conference in Dublin this morning a phalanx of media personalities, actors, musicians and other household names were joined by ordinary people from the street to express their [...]

The people of Haiti were today celebrating the first miracle of the new decade as a mass status change on Facebook instantaneously solved all the problems caused by last week’s devastating earthquake.
As shocked and badly wounded Haitians looked on in wonder, buildings reassembled themselves and rose skywards, services such as water and electricity began to [...]

The world’s most deadly condition received broad applause yesterday following news that cancer had taken another major motherfucker out. Fresh off the back of some sterling work that spared us a middle-aged, televised Jade Goody, the literate world today rejoiced with the news that King Dong Ill is checking the fuck out thanks to pancreatic [...]

His country may subsist on a diet of boiled mud and mysogo-genocide, but that hasn’t stopped Kim Jong Il from launching an early bid to make himself Top of the Pops this Christmas. 
The North Korean Premier hopes to croon his way around any number of meaningless UN resolutions to secure a live performance in the [...]

Pope Benedict the ‘Aw shit, he’s not coming to dinner is he?? I better warn the Pfeiffers..’ has sought to silence critics with the news that he will appear on the improv comedy show Whose Line Is It Anyway? But Vatican insiders are concerned that this format may not suit the clanger-prone Pontiff. 
Speaking under fear [...]

If 2008 was the year to snuff out the Olympic flame, 2009 seems certain to be the year of the flying boot. Yesterday the Chinese PM – a man who orders a summary execution with each meal – remained dignified and calm as an Audience member at the Cambridge University address let fly with his [...]

Leading Naturalist and broadcaster, Sir David Attenborough has predicted that the drastic changes we are currently seeing in the global climate could soon lead to sub zero temperatures in the Mediterranean, sub-Saharan Africa and even in the firey pits of hell.
 Attenborough forecasts that a reversal of global warming caused by a new phenomenon known as [...]

World-improving policies opposed by rich, fat, white status quo as Obama chooses venn diagram of goodwill over axis of evil.
President Barack Obama, the world’s best living human being, recently announced that America would aim for oil independence, thereby reducing the threats posed by its dependence on foreign oil supplied by sometimes hostile regimes. Republican Party [...]

Spanish police, investigating the shooting of an Irishman on the Costa del Sol, have tentatively ruled out any gangland involvement.
Johnny Mulligan, a 41 year old father of eighteen, was shot twenty-seven times in the head in Benalmadena, near Torremolinos on Saturday night. Initially it was thought the crime was related to his previous involvement with [...]