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Hull midfielder Jimmy Bullard has suddenly begun appearing more easy on the eye following the press conference to announce the arrival of new manager, Iain Dowie. Bullard, who has consistently been referred to by the opposite sex as having an ‘excellent personality’, is said to be baffled by the sudden [...]

Sources close to Ashley Cole have said he’s ‘over the moon’ at the break up of his marriage to Girls Aloud singer Cheryl. Cheryl, who came second in Britain’s most photographed Geordie of 2009 competition behind Sting, made the announcement yesterday after returning from Los Angeles.
The Chelsea player has been the subject of widespread scorn [...]

Irish Independent columnist Kevin Myers has emerged this morning as the shock new candidate for a place on RTE’s football punditry panel. With bosses set to fire former Liverpool midfielder Ronnie Whelan after numerous complaints about his ‘high-pitched witless bollocks’, it seems Myers recent foray into the world of sports analysis has impressed deputy head [...]

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After last night’s 2-1 Champions League defeat by Porto, Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has declared that he will no longer field lucky competition winners in goal during Europe’s premier club competition.
Lucky supporter Lukasz Fabianski was drawn from a hat shortly before kick-off and left the terraces to take his position [...]

King-of-quitters Roy Keane has publicly supported George Lee following Lee’s shock departure from Fine Gael last week. The move followed a tough nine months for the RTE celeb-reporter during which sources say Lee just, ‘couldn’t get his way’.
Speaking about George Lee’s brief political career, Keane said:
“He should turn off his phone. It’s basic manners. Turn [...]

The Premier League is considering introducing a new system to determine the fourth club to qualify for the next season’s European Champions League.
Under the current rules the fourth placed club in the league is automatically entered into the final qualifying round where they face a playoff game over two legs. However, a new [...]

The football world was rocked yesterday as Scottish giants Celtic signed an unknown Dublin amateur just as the transfer window was slamming shut until the summer.
Robert “Robbie” Keane, from Tallaght in South Dublin, signed a 6 month deal with the club with the view to a permanent move in the summer. Speaking to the Irish [...]

Gary Neville, Man United right back and wearer of sport’s worst Ronny, has blasted Carlos Tevez ahead of tomorrow night’s Carling Cup semi-final 2nd leg at Old Trafford. After scoring twice against his old club in the first leg, the Argentinian striker responded to his former captain’s sly middle-fingered salute by calling him a ‘boot [...]

Under pressure Liverpool manager Rafa Benitez thanked the club’s fans for their support after they beat Spurs 2-0 at Anfield last night, but die-hard reds may be shocked to know the win came at some cost.
Liverpool have struggled this season, losing and drawing too many games for a team that was tipped to win the [...]

Irksome, slack-jawed, Penney’s-frequenting yokels are set to over-run the capital this week end when their considerably better rugby team visits Croke Park to beat the unholy shite out of ‘Lunster’ en route to a Heineken Cup-winning certainty.
Ordinary people, who days ago sent their affection and well-wishes in the direction of the deeply unfortunate Tomas [...]