Newspaper of the Century | The 2008 Hijinx Awards
Keane finding life tough on Merseyside
Liverpool and Ireland striker Robbie Keane has blamed his profilic miss rate this season on the fact that he’s finding it hard to get used to life in the north of England.
The former Spurs and Wolves and Coventry and Inter Milan and Fettercairn Rovers player has failed to acclimatise to life in Liverpool after spending [...]
Gallas launches further attack on teammates
Having hit the headlines for his remarkable attack on his own team, Arsenal captain William Gallas has followed that up with a player by player critique of his teammates on his personal website.
This is sure to infuriate manager Arsene Wenger even more who is mulling over whether or not to strip Gallas of the captaincy. [...]
Munster claims ‘moral victory’ over All Blacks
Last night’s enthralling game of tag rugby between Munster and the All Blacks saw the New Zealanders sneak a late 2 point victory but that’s not stopping Munster fans claiming another famous victory.
It puts in mind the famous day in October 1978 when Munster beat a massively hungover All Black team 12-0. The victory has [...]
Steve Collins suffering from mental illness
Boxer Steve Colllins is on trial this week for allegedly assaulting a bouncer. The incident occurred at the National Boxing Stadium in 2006 at an event in which Richard Dunne was appearing.
The court has heard the testimony of security man Adriatik Voda, who claims that the attack occurred when Steve Collins approached the VIP entrance [...]
Pat Dolan ‘The Irish Kerry Katona’, says worried pal
Friends of portly Setanta Sports pundit Pat Dolan have revealed they’re desperately worried about his health and have urged him to go into rehab to fight his demons.
The former St Patrick’s Athletic manager was recently photographed stuffing his face in Burger King on O’Connell Street in Dublin. Scientists concluded that the mere fact that he [...]
Police to charge Drogba with attempted murder
Chelsea striker Didier Drogba has been charged with attempted murder by the Metropolitan Police following the incident in which he threw a coin into the crowd during Wednesday’s Carling Cup defeat to lowly Burnley.
A warrant was issued late last night and in a dawn raid on his Upper Tooting mansion the Ivory Coast forward was [...]
Liverpool star suffers burglary
Police on Merseyside are appealing for witnesses after yet another burglarly involving a player from Liverpool FC. In recent months as many as seven players have had their houses ransacked as they were playing a match, usually a midweek European fixture, with valuable items such as football shirts, medals, cars and limited edition Phil Collins [...]
Breaking news: McCain accuses Obama of ‘using force’ to manipulate vote
John McCain has accused newly elected President Barack Obama of using Jedi help to get elected.
“I think we all know Senator Obama’s connections with both sides of the force. Remember, this is the man who betrayed his friends to Darth Vader yet flip-flopped away from the dark side when things were going bad for the [...]
Palin praise for Ireland
Following her purchase of ‘My First Atlas’ from Amazon last week, Alaskan backwater governor and vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin is reaching out to America’s christian allies across the globe.
In a press conference earlier today, she praised the catholic church in Ireland for their hard-line stance on abortion.
Palin, increasingly known for her repulsion of logic, claimed [...]
Ireland issues Ireland demands
Manchester City Star, Stephen Ireland, has issued new Republic of Ireland football supremo, Giovanni Trappatoni, a list of demands which he wants met before he will consider resuming his international career. Irishman, Ireland has not played for Ireland since he controversially left the squad prior to the Euro 2008 qualifier versus Czech Republic in September [...]

