Speaking to the Dail this afternoon, Tánaiste Mary Coughlan, tried to clear up the confusion surrounding state training agency FÁS after the cabinet reshuffle.
Critics suggested that the Taoiseach had deliberately made the issue bewildering so it would be more difficult for any futher corruption to be unconvered, but Coughlan denied that was the case.
“At the [...]

Taoiseach Brian Cowen has said there are no immediate plans to increase the existing retirement age for either public or private sector workers.
However, as Cowen is about a trustworthy as Gary Glitter in a room full of pre-pubscent Asian girls, reports are leaking from Leinster House than an announcement is imminent. The Irish [...]

The Israeli intelligence service has taken time out of its quarterly Irish passport panhandling exercise to compare notes about character assassination with the former Minister for Defence, Willie O’Dea.
Speaking on behalf of the visiting delegation, Deputy Mossad boss Finbar McGinty said:
“We were impressed with the direct way Mr. O’Dea tackled his mark. He said to [...]

In an highly charged interview on RTE’s News at One, Minister for Defence told Sean O’Rourke that he was a victim as the controversy over his Limerick Leader interview continued.
The Limerick TD was clearly emotional as recent events had been ‘very difficult’ for him in the wake of his allegations against Sinn Fein’s Maurice Quinlivan [...]

Councilors and gardaí in Mayo are calling on people to give up bad driving for Lent. Mayo County Council has said that instead of giving up chocolate, beer or hanging around the swimming pool taking surreptitious camera phone photos of pre-pubescent girls in swimsuits, motorists should stop speeding, tail-gating and using phones while driving.
The gardai [...]

Under-pressure Fine Gael leader Enda Kenny today secured the backing of his party after the fall-out from the resignation of high profile TD, George Lee.
Serious questions had been raised about Kenny’s ability to continue as leader but after a meeting at Fine Gael HQ this afternoon senior party members came out in support.
“Enda Kenny [...]

There were angry scenes in Dail Eireann this afternoon as the opposition labelled the government ‘a bit shit, really’ in the light of new unemployment statistics.
The latest live register figures show that almost every single person in Ireland is now unemployed but Taoiseach Brian Cowen said the country was being ‘led in the right direction’. [...]

Minister for the Environment, and power hungry invertebrate, John Gormley today claimed the introduction of water charges could raise as much as €1bn a year for the exchequer.
Speaking to reporters outside the Green Party HQ, a hollowed out tree stump beside Baggot Street bridge, Gormley claimed the introduction of such charges was long overdue with [...]

Fianna Fail today announced that a number of party members are undergoing what they say is ‘rigorous counselling’ having been subjected to experiences comparable to some of the worst crimes imaginable.
Minister Martin Cullen says press intrusion into his life was like being raped. He was brought to Pearse Street Garda station where a female Garda [...]

News that festering pork-slit, Mary Lou McDonald, has crashed out of public life has been greeted with enthusiasm by anyone with two brain cells to rub together, according to initial reports on the public reaction to last Friday’s elections.
“Who the fuck is she kidding with her stupid face and her crap mullet? She has [...]