Taoiseach Brian Cowen will leave Ireland for Las Vegas later today in an attempt to balance the country’s books.
With a delegation that will include Minister for Finance, Brian Lenihan, and Cowen’s personal henchman and bodyguard, Mary Coughlan, the Fianna Fail leader will ‘hit the slots’ to try and win enough money to keep the country [...]

Taoiseach Brian Cowen has had recent discussions with the social partners about the new national pay deal, in the context of further economic decline.
With latest exchequer figures showing Ireland has a greater deficit than Rafael Benitez’s transfer dealings at Liverpool, emergency measures were needed. The agreed 6% increase has been widely criticised as too generous [...]

The Taoiseach and the Minister for Finance are reportedly set to announce major reforms of the public sector that will include significant lay-offs and the rationalisation of more state agencies. It is believed as many as 75,000 jobs could be lost.
Many feel the move is long overdue with bloated agencies costing millions per year on [...]

According to the latest opinion poll, Fianna Fáil popularity amongst the Irish public is at an all-time low. In a fancy Pacman shaped pie-chart in today’s Irish Times, Fine Gael lead the poll with 34%, while Cowen and the Fianna Fáil rat circus languish in the doldrums with a paltry 2%. This places the [...]

Fianna Fail MEP and part-time Michael Bolton impersonator, Brian Crowley, has blasted Czech president Vaclav Klaus as ‘a silly little prick’ for comments he made about Ireland and the Lisbon treaty.
President Klaus was in Ireland to meet with Libertas, the shady underground movement many believe to be the inspiration for Quantum in the new James [...]

Sources from within the Republicans have told the Irish Sentinel that Sarah Palin has put the blame for the party’s loss in the US Election entirely down to God.
A devout Christian, who believes in creationism, Palin was convinced that her faith in the almighty would be rewarded with victory and is now, apparently, so embittered [...]

John McCain has accused newly elected President Barack Obama of using Jedi help to get elected.
“I think we all know Senator Obama’s connections with both sides of the force. Remember, this is the man who betrayed his friends to Darth Vader yet flip-flopped away from the dark side when things were going bad for the [...]

Continuing our updates on the US election reports are reaching us that Newstalk presenter George Hook, in Washington to cover the historic event, has eaten Sarah Palin’s down syndrome child.
“I just thought it was one of those great big hamburgers you get over here”, said Hook, his jowls wobbling in despair. Station bosses are thought [...]

News just reaching us here at Sentinel HQ is that Senator John McCain has beaten Barack Obama in Compton, Los Angeles.
This is hugely significant due to the fact that only 1% of the population is white while the rest are African-American, Hispanic or House of Pain Irish. Should the trend continue then Obama may find [...]

News of the death of Barrack Obama’s grandmother has been greeted with scepticism by the Republican Party who have called on Democrats to ’show us the body’ ahead of tomorrow’s long awaited poll.
Karl Rove, advisor to George Bush, said “This is quite obviously a stunt by Obama camp. They release news about his grandmother dying [...]