Residents of Templeogue in Dublin are calling on Gardai and the army to help them fight a spate of attacks by radical insurrectionist ninjas who have recently moved into the area.
The otherwise sleepy suburb has been on high alert since the first incident took place just two weeks ago. A middle-aged man was making his [...]

It’s good news for lushes, sots, drunkards, rummies, barflies and alcos across Ireland as publicans have announced a one year price freeze.
The gloomy economic outlook, rising unemployment, and more people opting to drink at home has put pressure on the industry to get revellers back in to bars. The Licenced Vintners Federation (LVF) and the [...]

John McCain has accused newly elected President Barack Obama of using Jedi help to get elected.
“I think we all know Senator Obama’s connections with both sides of the force. Remember, this is the man who betrayed his friends to Darth Vader yet flip-flopped away from the dark side when things were going bad for the [...]

Internet access in operating theatres is to be discontinued at all major Irish hospitals after it emerged doctors are using wikipedia to help perform complicated surgeries.
It was revealed late last week that when Eircom’s broadband service went down in the Dublin 7 area one surgeon had to make frantic phonecalls to a colleague in order [...]

The Minister for Health Mary Harney has been praised for her courageous strategy in solving the recent medical card crisis.
Together with Brian Lenihan, the two ministers have devised what they call a ‘fair and balanced’ plan to ensure that nobody over 70 is left out in the cold following this year’s highly controversial budget.
Under the [...]

Irish rabbis have called for Hallowe’en celebrations to be banned, a move which has sparked outrage amongst Moore Street fireworks sellers.
Jewish leaders claim that in a secular nation there should be no religious celebrations apart from Yom Kippur, Hanukkah, Passover, Rosh Hashanah, Tenth of Tevet and Harvey Fierstein’s birthday. Rabbi Sam E Davis Jr from [...]