Two of Ireland’s top models will fight to the death in an exclusive live bout on TV3 this weekend.
Rosanna Davison, son of nanny shagging crooner Chris de Burgh, and Glenda Gilson, of no esteemed parentage whatsoever, will battle it out in a caged arena at Dublin’s O2. The pair have been at loggerheads since one [...]

Dun Laoghaire Harbour. The boulevard of broken dreams. A lonely Tayto packet whistles across the rain-spattered jetty, near where the group of Irish mammies are huddled in the cold, waving goodbye to their sons. One of them crushes a fag butt beneath her sodden Louboutins and turns away. She can’t look [...]

Catholic Church officials have today announced their plans to revolutionise the whole area of child abuse, says our religious correspondant Paddy Winkletwitch.
At a hushed press conference in Dublin’s five star Crofton Airport Hotel, assembled reporters were told by church officials that public perception of child abuse was at an all time low and that the [...]

Taoiseach Brian Cowen has said there are no immediate plans to increase the existing retirement age for either public or private sector workers.
However, as Cowen is about a trustworthy as Gary Glitter in a room full of pre-pubscent Asian girls, reports are leaking from Leinster House than an announcement is imminent. The Irish [...]

The Israeli intelligence service has taken time out of its quarterly Irish passport panhandling exercise to compare notes about character assassination with the former Minister for Defence, Willie O’Dea.
Speaking on behalf of the visiting delegation, Deputy Mossad boss Finbar McGinty said:
“We were impressed with the direct way Mr. O’Dea tackled his mark. He said to [...]

In an highly charged interview on RTE’s News at One, Minister for Defence told Sean O’Rourke that he was a victim as the controversy over his Limerick Leader interview continued.
The Limerick TD was clearly emotional as recent events had been ‘very difficult’ for him in the wake of his allegations against Sinn Fein’s Maurice Quinlivan [...]

King-of-quitters Roy Keane has publicly supported George Lee following Lee’s shock departure from Fine Gael last week. The move followed a tough nine months for the RTE celeb-reporter during which sources say Lee just, ‘couldn’t get his way’.
Speaking about George Lee’s brief political career, Keane said:
“He should turn off his phone. It’s basic manners. Turn [...]

Councilors and gardaí in Mayo are calling on people to give up bad driving for Lent. Mayo County Council has said that instead of giving up chocolate, beer or hanging around the swimming pool taking surreptitious camera phone photos of pre-pubescent girls in swimsuits, motorists should stop speeding, tail-gating and using phones while driving.
The gardai [...]

After a week-long radio campaign against Head Shops, which saw a legitimate business burned to the ground, RTE insiders have declared the exercise a ‘100% success’ and revealed it to be a test case through which social change can be made.
A source told the Irish Sentinel last night “The Head Shops thing was just the [...]

Ruler of the tiny kingdom of Smurf Village, Papa Smurf, has been subjected to racial abuse, both physical and verbal, whilst visitng the Co. Meath town of Athboy.  Smurf, who is 165 years old this March, currently visiting Athboy as part of the Town Twinning Process was said to ‘visibly smurfed’ at his treatment by [...]