I’ll keep this brief.  We’re big fans of Apple hardware here in Sentinel Towers. Corns uses a Macbook Pro to organise cannibal deathmatches in Liberia. I myself cruise the information pornohighway from time-to-time using one, but never without a microwaved pomelo close by. We have faith in Apple’s ability to produce a great operating system [...]

Ireland’s top criminals held a secret meeting in a Baldoyle warehouse this weekend to to discuss the ongoing dispute between crime journalist Paul Williams and the Sunday World.
Despite fulfilling his contract the Sunday World has tried to prevent Williams from taking up a job offer from the News of the World, going so far as [...]

Flushed with the success of his radio ads encouraging people to spend every waking hour in the pub – responsibly – funny bald man, Dara O’Briain is set to take his lovable delivery into the awkward hearts and minds of thirteen-year-olds all over Ireland.
 “For Big Tobacco to stay profitable we need to start 500 teens [...]

Michael O’Leary has grabbed headlines again with his latest move now being a surcharge on prolonged, psychological unhappiness.
“We trade in misery at Ryanair, and no-one is going to come on one of my planes and stew in their own juices without paying me for the pleasure.”
The new charges will see recently broken-up people pay and [...]

In a move which has disgusted satirists the world over Ryanair has hinted it might charge people to use toilets on their flights.
Biting, humourous websites across the UK and Ireland slumped against their keyboards, some openly weeping.
“This is awful”, said an unnamed Daily Mash source. “I mean, coin slot airplane toilets from the cheapest airline [...]

“Wait… WHOA! Can you guys actually see what we’re doing?!?”
Such were the words of one senior Irish Life & Permanent executive after it emerged that Anglo Irish Bank and IL&P had been playing a game of ‘give me the lend of four to six billion euro, will you?’
Anglo Irish Bank came in for further… well [...]

Humourless booze behemoth, Diageo has countered accusations of taking itself FAR too seriously by focus-grouping it’s own staff to find out ‘what it means to be funny at the expense of the parent company’. Rebecca Grave, head of the Internal Funnies Department at St. James’s Gate said:
“We take fun seriously at Diageo. Using a mixture [...]

Discount supermarket Aldi has emerged as a major stockmarket player having taken advantage of last week’s crash in Bank of Ireland shares.
From a yearly high of €18 shares fell to just €0.85c and millions were lost from stock and pension portfolios. This morning a sharp rise in the bank’s shares was reported on the ISEQ [...]