Newspaper of the Century | The 2008 Hijinx Awards
Lady Gaga to quit social media. For charity. Not for real. For charity. Not how you think. For charity.
21st century attention seeking.
Let’s have a round of applause, and a cinder block on the fingers, for Alecia Keys, who came up with the idea of raising money for charity by asking you to pay to see celebrity tweets and Facebook updates. On the face of it, this sounds like real progress – less Lady Gaga, more money for a good cause – indeed you could almost be fooled into thinking that social media has finally delivered some genuine value to the world, but then the truth comes out: Gaga will only deign to address her 30+ million online followers again AFTER they raise over €1m for charity.
The only thing more depressing than this innovative approach to fundraising is the likelihood, whether by novelty or loyalty, that it will work. People – strange, confused, lonely, young people – may be all too willing to donate money, so that a woman who wears a phone on her head will update her Facebook and Twitter again.
Cyber-sociologists say:
“The creation of social networks has brought millions of us closer together so that we can all have a good look at how lonely and needy we really are. User-neediness is quantified in terms of updates, friendships, followers and tweets and is then reinforced with a crude but effective numerical system. The more friends and followers you have, the better you are. The more comments you have on your update, or tweet, the better that comment is. At the heart of this dangerously flawed system is the premise that asserts your personal worth and self-esteem can only be measured in terms of other people.”
Please hastily post your own responses to this story, thereby legitimizing this reporter’s deep insight and rare understanding of human behaviour on the internet.
In real news, the legendary Leslie Nielsen has gone to the great comic in the sky.
Nice beaver.
Nielsen died at home following a conversation with his wife, during which he outlined his need of a hospital. A hospital? His wife said, what is it? It’s a large building for sick people, but that’s not important right now…
Sadly, it was important right now.
Communities
2 Comments so far ...
I agree Victoria Beckham is the “Real Deal” she works hard for what she wants and does her homework. With her fashion she definately studied somewhere she knows all the right terminology etal i am a fashion designer and i think Victoria Beckham is really 1 of a Kind-shes real. A lotof people work hard but she also has luck fame and smart enuf to keep it shes topds on muy book. Victoria if you need any help w your fashion line you call me right away I know the biz and am great.
Comment on December 1, 2010 02:30 amI don’t understand the first comment, wtf has insect stick Skanger Spice got to do with the above article?
I understand why people social network but to be honest I have no desire to have 100 fake friends or keep in touch with someone I haven’t seen in over 10 years. Your little baby follows Man U or Liverpool like their retard father? Couldn’t give a fuck.
You know what is better than facebook or twitter? Going out and meeting people face to face. I thought Lady Gaga was ok until I heard her speak for the first time on the above pictured telephone head Johnathan ross show. Christ she is dumb and so was I for wasting 10 mins watching that cringe worthy carcrash of a ‘talk’ and ’show’.
Comment on December 4, 2010 06:23 pm