Political anoraks all over the nation can’t stop talking about the innovative approach under consideration at cabinet level. Sources say that Taoiseach Brian Cowen and his merry band of feckless heads on sticks are going to ‘take a stand’. The Fianna Fáil party, universally renowned for its ability to avoid the stand, has spotted the public appetite for principles:

“The market research is incontrovertible – in tough times people want leaders with ideals.”

But it remains to be seen what the Government will take a stand about.

“That depends,” said one party insider. “What the data tells us is that it is important to be seen to be willing to stick to your guns – but it’s still unclear which guns people want us to stick to and who they want us to shoot.”

Sinn Fein have responded to the news by reaffirming their intention to stand on the testicles of local heroin dealers in something of a socialist ‘protection for votes’ racket, while opposition leader Enda Kenny is just going to stand around while the rest of his party fucks up making him stand down.

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Elsewhere, there are hopes that Minister for being a big fucking prick, John Gormley will stand at the epicentre of a nuclear weapons testing facility so that every atom associated with his accursed existence is erased from this dimension. Indeed things are so bad in Government and in Irish politics that the electorate appears to be considering the Labour party as a potential leader in the next government.

Analysts believe it almost doesn’t matter who gets the job as long as we get rid of the current government and John Gormley is publicly executed in the fully operational Poolbeg incinerator.