Some of the leading figures from the online world are arriving in Ireland to take part in the Dublin Web Summit, which gets under way later today.

He moves away from the mic to breathe in

More than 400 people are expected to attend the event at Trinity College this evening. Across Ireland web enthusiasts are frantically freeing up enough space on their iPhones so their voicerecorder app won’t run out of space as they tape the proceedings. While many are looking forward to the speech by the founder of Craiglist, a classifieds website through which one can buy and sell almost everything, including orphans, body parts and sculpted turds, it’s the arrival of some of the web’s most well known characters that is expected to bring 64bit joy to the audience.

“When I first got the call I thought to myself, ‘Ireland? Why would I want go there?’”, said Tron Guy, “but the promise of a slap up meal in the Little Caesar’s of my choice and two nights in the Skylon was too good to pass up”.

“I can’t wait, this is gonna be awesome”, Leeroy Jenkins told the Irish Sentinel. He will appear on stage a few moments before he is scheduled to do so. Practical demonstrations will take place too, with TV star McGyver on hand to show how to get millions of hits from just 2 girls and one cup.

Musical entertainment for the evening will be provided by Numa-Numa Bloke covering Chocolate Rain while a surprise guest appearance from Rick Astley has not been ruled out.

To add some local flavour proceedings there will be a Q&A with drunk guy in a shopping trolley, Twink and Jedward teaming up to do an updated version of Zip up your Mickey, while Imelda from Athlone will demonstrate the manageable size of Apple’s new iPad by inserting one in her gowl whilst having a convict kiss her back better than what her boyfriend does.

However, organisers are said to be ‘disappointed but understanding’ at the cancelling of his appearance by Goatse due to ’severe rectal bleeding’.