Newspaper of the Century | The 2008 Hijinx Awards
It’s a big fucking iPhone. Seriously, what were you expecting?
You heard the man
I’ll keep this brief. We’re big fans of Apple hardware here in Sentinel Towers. Corns uses a Macbook Pro to organise cannibal deathmatches in Liberia. I myself cruise the information pornohighway from time-to-time using one, but never without a microwaved pomelo close by. We have faith in Apple’s ability to produce a great operating system in a great computer. It fills the gap better than anything else.
Steve Jobs recently said: “We want to kick off 2010 by introducing a truly magical and revolutionary new product”
Okay, great! Blow my fucking mind, Steve! Show me the magic! Knock my stripey socks off with the Che Guevaraness of it all!
What do we get? A super-sized iPhone?
No doubt the fat fuckers will be queuing up outside the Apple Store in New York, waving for the CNN cameras while their douchebaggery is broadcasted across every continent, forking over their hundreds of dollars for something they couldn’t possibly need.
But don’t worry. Thy God Steve still gets paid. He needs the money for the diamond encrusted toilet seat he sits on as he takes a truly magical and revolutionary new dump every morning.
Communities
5 Comments so far ...
Passive agressive behavior, very interesting for an Irishman. What, your local ran out of Guinness so you have to channel your disappointment somewhere else?
Comment on January 27, 2010 11:47 pmGuinness? I think you’re confusing Ireland with Belgium.
Comment on January 28, 2010 02:01 amI once got comments from “uber-fans” of Celine Dion and, of all people, Ronan Keating berating me for not being very pleasant about them.
I thought this ridiculous and not a little funny.
But never in all my days as a retired goat herder and stylist did I ever think I would witness someone get all Rita Hayworth over a piece of technology.
Matron, pass the smelling salts, we’re losing the geek, stat
Comment on January 28, 2010 07:22 amFine, go get yourself some Mort Subite.
Comment on January 28, 2010 03:32 pmLord above.
Comment on February 8, 2010 04:32 pm