The heavenly hosts are gearing up for a real jamboree this Wednesday ahead of God’s much anticipated annual trip to earth. One highly placed source within heaven said: 

“April Fools is the one day of the year when the Gods can walk amongst men. No matter what manner of miracles are wrought, humanity resolutely refuses to believe these incredible events are anything but a hoax. This helps the deities-that-be to really blow off a lot steam with some flamboyant displays of power.”

God himself though – GOD, God, if you will – is something of a a practical joker. Sources say that last year he turned South America upside-down for the day and one angel was happy to give an insight into the Almighty.

“God is a scream. It’s like – last October Zeus had a fancy dress party and God came as, get this, a Golden Calf! I mean you gotta love this guy. But all the central figures of the monotheistic faiths are pretty cool. Yahweh came as a Yeti – he spent the whole night saying ‘well no-one ever saw a Yeti, right? Right?’ and the year before he didn’t even show up but he still got half the party to pretend that he had just left the room when anyone asked where he was.”

But not everyone in paradise is happy with the festivities and there have been murmurings that God is setting a bad example for his only son our Lord, Jesus Christ. God’s only son has been keeping a low profile for the past couple of thousand years since it emerged that perhaps his resurrection was less miraculous than the bible’s version of events. 

A source, speaking on condition of anonymity, said: 

“Resurrection my ass – Jesus and his buddies got tanked at a cider party in the garden of Gethsemany and three days later he wakes up in a cave. We all had those kind of nights, but only Jesus claims he rose from the dead.”

The royal family of heaven refused to comment on the matter, but the rumours are that the divine drinks cabinet has been under lock and key since the ‘Old Testament-Gate’ scandal.