Pope Benedict the ‘Aw shit, he’s not coming to dinner is he?? I better warn the Pfeiffers..’ has sought to silence critics with the news that he will appear on the improv comedy show Whose Line Is It Anyway? But Vatican insiders are concerned that this format may not suit the clanger-prone Pontiff. 

Speaking under fear of excommunication, a cleric from inside the Papal residence said: 

“The Pope is hooked on the hit TV series The Wire and with a visit to Baltimore coming ahead of the comedy show, the Pope’s handlers are keen to stop Benedict answering four out of five questions with the reply, ‘mos’ def’”. 

The Vatican’s concerns are backed up by the bookies and Betfair.com has put the Pope saying ‘bless all niggers’ at 4/1 before the start of June 2009. In recent days, the Pope offended a huge number of Aid Agencies, as well as the faculties of science, reason and responsibility when he stated that condom-use in Africa actually ‘aggravates’ the AIDS problem.

Next week, ahead of his bi-weekly ‘I-know-the-holocaust-happened,-sorry-if-it-sounded-otherwise statement, the Pope is expected to bring poverty under the holy catholic hammer of nonsense. 

The new campaign, which follows on from the laughable ‘Make Poverty History’ concert of recent years, will be called ‘Just squeeze your eyes shut and try to believe some dinner into existence’. Admitting that the challenge of global hunger was indeed humbling, the Pope said at least the new initiative had the potential to ‘Make Poverty Quieter’.