Reports in Dublin social circles say that Gavin Friday is to undergo a sex change operation in Seattle next week as he tries to resurrect his career.

Friday, best known as a friend of Bono’s and for not being Simon Carmody, will travel to the world renowned Moyet Clinic, having grown unhappy with his lot as man in a man’s world. He will be seen by eminent surgeon Dr Lawrence Dickov and will return to Ireland to relaunch his career.

An artists impression of a post-op Friday

A Lillie’s Bordello insider told the Irish Sentinel “He has it all worked out. His triumphant return will be stage-managed to the Nth degree and he has plans to get off the plane and flash his gee at reporters, making him the first Irish woman to show her privates in public since Maud Gonne ran starkers down Townsend Street in 1947″.

But an even more inside insider revealed the cynical nature of Friday’s plot. “The only reason he’s going to turn himself into a woman is so he can pretend to have cervical cancer and get publicity like old baldy-whatserface in the UK. He’s going to be pictured smoking with his newly-created cervix, rubbing the cervix off mobile telephone masts and having sex with highly-irradiated Sellafield workers.

Then he’s going to shave his head, go on a crash diet, hire Max Clifford and milk the sympathy for all its worth. Then, right at the death, no pun intended, he’s going to have miraculous recovery and release a double-album entitled ‘Sir Vix-a-lot’, which will feature all his old tunes remixed by Carl Cox.

The public should know this before they become enraptured with the fragile beauty whose life appears to be ebbing away”.

A spokeperson for Friday said the idea was ‘ludicrous, crass and downright insulting’ but refused to deny the fact he was travelling to the USA.

“He’s going on a 49 state tour … erm … he’s going to sell some of his paintings to … erm … look, he’s just going to see some old friends”.