A Stoneybatter man’s private club may have to be disbanded after an error in the Golden Pages brought about some unwarranted attention.

The Dublin Groomer’s Association, operating from Dermot Happle’s basement, has been in existance since 1997, the same time at which Yahoo first launched their Java powered chat rooms. Since then it has been a haven for men looking to lure underage boys and girls for sex.

Spaniels not popular with groomers due to lack of internet access and painful overbite

However, the most recent edition of the Golden Pages inadvertently placed the groups ad in the ‘Pet care’ section, leading to a glut of enquiries.

“It’s awful”, said Happle, locking his basement to blanket the plaintive wails that echo through the house like a chorus of angels being violated by a buffalo. “We hardly have time for the touching of special areas the phone is going so often. And the calls having nothing to do with what we do.

I don’t know how many times we’ve told them ‘No, I have no idea which kind of brush to use on a Labradoodle, or how to unmatt the hair of a West Highland White that’s been rolling around in mud and chewing gum’.

And the ones who are suffering are the teenagers. We spend weeks, months even, convincing them we’re friendly teens of a similar age, building a relationship, texting them, sending pictures of our elephantine scrotums, and then when we get them here we can’t pay them the attention they deserve.

Something has to be done and I have instructed my solictors to see whether or not we can take legal action”.

A spokesperson for Golden Pages told the Irish Sentinel that an error had occurred and blamed the amibguous nature of the word ‘groom’ for the mistake.

“In the past this was open and shut. The only thing that got groomed was a dog. Now, with the internet and the www and the advent of kiddie-fiddlers and all that, there’s a different kind of grooming and we’ll certainly be mindful of that in the future”.

Other mistakes in this year’s Golden Pages saw well known curios shop ‘Knobs and Knockers’ in the ’sex aids’ section while Fianna Fail was listed under ‘political parties’ instead of ‘useless fucking clowns’.