Newspaper of the Century | The 2008 Hijinx Awards
Slumdog kids not adjusting well to slum life
After the glitz and glamour of Hollywood and the Oscars two of the young stars of Slumdog Millionaire are said to be struggling to adjust to life back in the slums.
Both Azharuddin Ismail and Rubina Ali have returned to their former homes and, according to local media are ‘acting up’ as they try to come to terms with the life they used to have.
Ismail’s family live in a half-length of concrete pipe with a piece of corrugated iron to protect them from the elements, while Ali, her mother, father, eight brothers and sisters, four cousins and one grandparent all share a 5′x5′ hole in the ground next to an open sewer.
Rajiv Singh, a local reporter, says “This whole Slumdog thing has spoiled them. Who could have imagined that flying to Hollywood first class, going to the Oscars, staying in luxury hotels, havng clothes and toys bought for them, eating like kings and not have to shit in a jar would affect them so badly.
Nobody could possibly have expected this kind of reaction when they came home, changed into their rags, ran about barefoot trying to avoid snakes and rivers of slurry and swapped their large, comfortable beds for half a cardboard box.
Frankly they are disgracing the nation”.
Meanwhile, the father of Azharuddin Ismail has called on director Danny Boyle to give him the money set aside in a trust fund for his son.
“Who knows what kind of disease he could pick up down here between now and the time he turns 18? Surely, given the fact they have made millions and millions from this low-budget, highly successful film, they could sort our family out with a simple apartment. It’s in Mumbai, for Shiva’s sake, you could get an eight bedroomed duplex for the price of a weekend’s stay in the Beverly Hills Hotel”.
So far Boyle has refused to comment but film industry insiders have hinted that his reluctance to pay is entirely due to him being Scottish and having T-Rex arms which don’t reach his pockets.



4 Comments so far ...
I hear they’re also re-learning how to say “Bloody damn”.
Comment on March 2, 2009 03:09 pmDanny Boyle is a scabby cunt
Comment on March 2, 2009 08:53 pmSo’s yer ma, Liam
Comment on March 3, 2009 03:44 pmNo Johnny, his ma, HAS a scabby cunt.
2 different things entirely.
Comment on March 6, 2009 11:57 am