The Labour Party is to table a Dáil motion today calling on the Government to ’shut the fuck up’ for a period of not less than 3 months.

Labour leader Eamon Gilmore, along with party colleagues, drafted the motion at a secret convention in an upstairs room at Buswell’s Hotel last Saturday night. The Labour Party’s motion notes that in recent times whenever the government has spoken in public they have made themselves sound and/or look like complete turnips and suggests that a period of ‘quiet time’ would be beneficial.

Labour's secret source

“To us it’s obvious”, said a shiny-headed Labour insider. “Since this economic crisis began the government have done nothing to make the situation any better. Every day they’re sending ministers and back-benchers to speak to newspapers, TV and radio, and every time they do they put their feet right into their collective mouths.

Billion euro bailouts for banks are lauded as proactive and necessary yet a few bob here and there for special needs kids and cervical cancer vaccines has them stumbling and suttering like Proinsias De Rossa on crack. The Minister for Finance admits he doesn’t read important documentation, that gombeen Willie O’Dea still has that stupid looking moustache and Mary Coughlan stands around like a heifer while jobs are lost in their thousands every week.

We feel that in the best interests of the public they should be made shut their mouths for the next three months. They should just get their head down and concentrate on their work. I mean, it’s not going to improve it that much but the situation is so desperate we have to do what we can.

Every single time they say something they dent public confidence. Now is the time for the government to not put up and just shut up!”

The motion will be tabled and discussed at a special sitting of the Dail this evening.

Meanwhile, Fine Gael leader Enda Kenny is yet to decide if his party will support the motion. FG sources tell us he is leaning towards voting against it due to the fact that if the goverment don’t say anything then he won’t have anything to say ‘That’s nonsense’ in reaction to and will be forced to think of original things to say.