If 2008 was the year to snuff out the Olympic flame, 2009 seems certain to be the year of the flying boot. Yesterday the Chinese PM – a man who orders a summary execution with each meal – remained dignified and calm as an Audience member at the Cambridge University address let fly with his size nines.

 Media analysts explained: “News desks are tired of the same old baton charge / bloodied civilian routine. They want something light-hearted – something that reminds them of John Cleese doing the Ministry of silly walks.”

Cosmopolitan’s Protest Editor Helena Rothchild added: “Shoe-throwing is hot right now. Paris Hilton is paying people to throw shoes at her when she wears fur, just to keep her publicity up – and why not? It’s savvy, it’s cheap and it’s easier than smoking every cock in Gnarles Barkley’s band.”

 One protestor, who agreed with celebrity shoe-throwing, said he would like to throw Peaches Geldof at his problem, because she IS a boot, while PETA nudey protests have dropped right off since the cold snap hit Europe in December. One pharmaceutical spokeswoman said:

“At first it seemed pretty clever to brand public nudity and make it synoymous with a cause, but now that the weather has set in PETA protestors are indirectly responsible for the needless deaths of countless caged animals just by wearing clothes. I would feel pretty guilty about that if I were them.” 

“The other day I saw a fully-clothed protest outside the plant the other day and I just thought, what is this? A car-boot sale? Ill-timed carol singing? Where is the impact? Where is the cut-through? How can these people expect to be taken seriously with their flax clothes on??”

The Chinese PM has meanwhile promised to make an example of this form of protest by stamping out Tibet.