A new survey shows that 82% of men said they would rather throw rocks at Peaches Geldof than touch any part of her with their penis, while Bianca Gascoigne came 15th in the ranking of ‘things I would like to see my curried vomit land on’. On sexual health, Jodie Marsh has leap-frogged Chlamydia to [...]

In a move which has disgusted satirists the world over Ryanair has hinted it might charge people to use toilets on their flights.
Biting, humourous websites across the UK and Ireland slumped against their keyboards, some openly weeping.
“This is awful”, said an unnamed Daily Mash source. “I mean, coin slot airplane toilets from the cheapest airline [...]

There was further bad news for Jade Goody as a spokesperson for God announced last night that the reality TV star would not be admitted to heaven without some kind of a trial.
Speaking to Sky News reporter Kay Burley, Saint Peter said that he understood it was a difficult time for Jade but that she [...]

Please note the following post is advertisement for a new, spirit lifting endeavour from Ronnie McGrew
[Audio clip: view full post to listen]

A Galway man today filed a €47,000,000 lawsuit against Google for an outage to its Gmail service which lasted more than four hours.
Millions of users throughout the world found themselves unable to access the Gmail web page, although POP/SMTP and IMAP service functioned without a problem for the duration of what Google engineers describe as [...]

The strange and wondrous convention known only as ‘Irish banking’ was thrown into chaos last night with the news that ‘He-who-must-not-be-named’ was one of the key investors who borrowed hundreds of millions of euro to buy shares in the pathetic, failed, disgraceful and disgusting Anglo Irish Bank.
In response to the news, the chief financial officer [...]

A Minister of State has today contended that the Government cannot identify the ten individuals involved in the €451 million transaction to purchase shares in Anglo Irish Bank.
Dick Roche, Minister for Dwarves, Midgets and Flids, said that Brian Lenihan, Minister for Finance, told him the individuals could not be named for complex financial reasons.
“He said [...]

Ronnie McGrew appears every Thursday on the Irish Sentinel to talk about the town he loves so well. This week he explains why he won’t be going to Cork for the Irish Blog Awards, and his dislike of awards shows in general.
Ronnie McGrew was elected Mayor of Stoneybatter in 1987 but was forced to resign [...]

Broadcaster, actor and full time Twitterer Stephen Fry is wanted by the Metropolitan Police this evening after causing the deaths of four people in South London.
Detectives believe that the shock of Fry responding to a Tweet, a short message sent via Twitter, proved too much for the unfortunate user who went by the handle of [...]

The Labour Party is to table a Dáil motion today calling on the Government to ’shut the fuck up’ for a period of not less than 3 months.
Labour leader Eamon Gilmore, along with party colleagues, drafted the motion at a secret convention in an upstairs room at Buswell’s Hotel last Saturday night. The Labour Party’s [...]