A leading Oxfam executive has called for fresh new thinking to solve the ongoing crises in Africa. At any one time up to 350,000,000 people are suffering the effects of famine and although traditional aid methods have helped they have done nothing to stem the long-term problem.

Now though an Irish Oxfam executive thinks he’s found the perfect solution. “For years now I’ve been trying to think of a way that we could finally wipe out famine in Africa”, said Peter Duggan. “We hear about food mountains and the waste of the western world but those are merely pipe dreams.

Corky - has fat reserves like a camel

At best they offer short-medium term solutions but once that help has been withdrawn the same problems exist. People are basically trying to exist on land which is not habitable. So how can sacks of grain help in any meaningful way?

Then I was watching the special Olympics and something struck me. You never see a starving Down Syndrome person do you? I mean, they’re all quite chunky and robust.

So, my proposal is that we genetically engineer crops and food supplies which will ensure that every single baby born in Africa has Down Sydrome and instantly you wipe out the problem of famine. It might sound somewhat harsh but what’s worse – a country full of loveable, bespectacled rogues like Corky or emaciated children being shat on by flies and eaten by vultures? We simply need to get a UN mandate and we can make Africa the oasis of life once again”.

However, critics don’t agree. “This is ridiculous. It’s tantamount to genocide”, said Mary Long of the Red Cross. “Everyone knows that Down Syndrome people can very rarely reproduce and if they do you get super-mongs and nobody wants that. The whole idea is a disaster”.

At the moment famine is affecting 19 African countries and with belts tightening due to the credit crunch charitable donations are expected to slump in 2009.

“We’ve got to act and act now”, concluded Duggan, while Cheeverstown House directors have given their approval to the plan saying it would allow them to expand into a worldwide franchise like they’d always dreamed of.