The callous nature of modern Ireland was brought to the fore today when the house of recently deceased TD Tony Gregory was burgled while his funeral was taking place.

As mourners gathered to pay their respects to one of Ireland’s best known and well respected politicians heartless raiders were ransacking his home. It is thought that they had taken advantage of today’s service to look for the mythical inner-city treasure map that many believe Gregory was in possession of.

Dublin in the arrraaaaarr auld times

For years it has been the stuff of legend. In 1645 a pirate ship, blown way off course, found itself in Dublin Bay. The notorious leader of the gang, Flangebeard, was faced by unfriendly locals who accused him and his crew of ‘looking at our birds’.

Unable to find much-needed supplies a fierce battle broke out on what is now North Wall Quay. With many dead, wounded and maimed, Flangebeard took to the streets of Dublin with a treasure chest which he buried in a secret location. Reports and pub songs of the time, chronicled in leather bound books owned by Senator David Norris, suggest a copy of a map was found on board the ship by Dubliners when they had finished loafing the pirates to death.

Down through the years many have tried to locate the chest but the last known holder of the map was former President, Erskine Childers. A special unit of the Garda Archeology squad was sent to Áras an Uachtaráin after his death but it was never recovered, leading to speculation that Childers had given it away.

In the last few years Gardai have been monitoring all radio, telephone and email conversation in an attempt to locate the map and in 2003 they interviewed Tony Gregory after an unusually high number of keyword hits relating to the treasure were found in a speech he made to the North Strand Heroin Addicts and Alcoholics and Tippex Thinner Sniffers Association.

Gregory denied all knowledge of the map but leaks from within the Gardai made criminal gangs aware of their interest in him. Not willing to run the risk of bad PR by going after Tony Gregory while he was alive, today sees Ireland sink to its lowest depths yet as they raid his property in death.

How far have we fallen? Is priceless treasure worth more than man’s life? In these times of financial crisis and recession, the answer, sadly, is yes.

One can only hope that Tony Gregory has cocked his final snoop at the suits, the lowlife criminals, the tie wearers, the busies, the back-slappers and miscreants that populate Dail Eireann, and has taken it with him.