Liverpool and Ireland striker Robbie Keane has blamed his profilic miss rate this season on the fact that he’s finding it hard to get used to life in the north of England.

The former Spurs and Wolves and Coventry and Inter Milan and Fettercairn Rovers player has failed to acclimatise to life in Liverpool after spending most of his life in areas of much higher civilisation.

Getting closer - Keane celebrates his two yard miss against Hull

A source close to the player said “Robbie just can’t get to grips with Merseyside life. It’s like a foreign country for him -  he feels battered like Jamie Bulger at the moment. He’s struggled with the language for a start. He just can’t understand a word people are saying and they haven’t got a clue either when he speaks in that thick, Dublin brogue of his.

Then there’s the food. When you go from eating Funghi Trifolati followed by Gamberi Calamari Livornese with a handmade Tiramisu it’s hard to cope with ‘Southern Fried Poppin’ chicken’ and Beef Roast TV dinners from Iceland.

But he’s hopeful that things will get better in 2009. A player from abroad usually takes about 6 months to settle into life  in the Premier League and he’s sure that by the end of February he’ll be back to his best”.

So far this season Keane has missed open goals from 7 yards, 5 yards, 3 yards and, in the FA Cup game against Preston, failed to score from less than 2 inches in front of goal.

It has caused Liverpool manager Rafa Benitez to wonder if the £20m he spent on Keane was worth it although critics of the Spaniard will say that if he spent £7m on Italian Andrea Dossena then Keane is actually worth somewhere in the region of £98,655,000,000,000.