Newspaper of the Century | The 2008 Hijinx Awards
Israel condemned for further strikes on Gaza
There was further condemnation of Israel last night as armed forces launched another savage attack on the Gaza strip.
The missile bombardment, described as ‘retaliatory’ by Israel’s foreign minister Yitzak Kilarab, came in response to a Palestinian attack on a Jewish family’s house in Lennox Street, Dublin 8.

Seinfeld - took time from busy schedule to visit Cohen family at their destroyed home
In the early hours of last night a Palestinian youth threw eggs at the windows and shouted ‘Jews, get out of our land’ before making off as fast as his little legs could carry him. Isaac Cohen, who has lived in the house for 48 years with his wife Matilda, telephoned the Israeli embassy in Dublin who passed on reports of the incident to Tel Aviv.
“If they continue to threaten our borders, wherever they may lie”, said Kilarab, “then we will respond with force. We will not let our people be terrorised”.
312 people were killed in the retaliatory attack which blew up schools, hospitals, kindergartens, a puppy sanctuary and a local theatre in which a group of orphans were performing a new year’s ‘play of kindness’.
Minister for Foreign Affairs, Micheál Martin, said “I suppose you could say the response from Israel was slightly disproportionate. A few eggs being thrown at a house is hardly justification for the slaughter of hundreds of men, women and children, but you know, this is Israel. As long as the US keeps funding and condoning its terrorism it doesn’t matter what anyone says”.
Hamas leaders have promised revenge and have threatened the lives of some of the world’s leading Jews, including Scarlett Johansson, Corey Feldman and recent convert Mel Gibson.
Meanwhile, the Cohen family are being comforted by friends, family and Jerry Seinfeld.


8 Comments so far ...
Yitzak Kilarab? Bwahahahaha reminds me of the Portadown News loyalist correspondent Billyshootspatrick……they had a gay reporter too, Billyfitspatrick….
Comment on December 29, 2008 02:50 pmGrrr, I hate Seinfeld.
Comment on December 29, 2008 04:58 pmI might do a quick Kristallnacht on the bakery up there on my way home tomorrow night. They’ve just done it up, they’ll be mighty pissed off.
Comment on December 30, 2008 09:12 pmI do like the Bretzel. That’s some good bread.
Comment on December 31, 2008 09:13 amit is a damn fine bakery. I often ask them “when is the first batch due?” They love that.
Comment on December 31, 2008 06:01 pmLike the old rabbi and rasta joke.
Comment on December 31, 2008 06:15 pmI think this would be a lot funnier if it wasn’t so close to the truth.
Comment on January 7, 2009 08:00 pmOver 300 children dead now…sign the petition to the Irish government to close the Israeli embassy.Go to http://www.gopetition.com/online/24490.html
Comment on January 15, 2009 12:55 am