Millions of children across the world are facing a bleak Christmas after it was revealed than Santa Claus is unlikely to make his deliveries this evening.

Santa "went fuckin mental", say sources

Reports suggest that he travelled from the North Pole last night and checked into the Priory clinic in what onlookers described as a ‘tired and emotional’ state.

Santa’s PR agent, Max Clifford, told the Irish Sentinel “Obviously it’s a blow for this to happen at this particular time of the year but we would ask people to respect Santa’s privacy. He just needs to get well.

There’s a huge amount of pressure on him. You hear people talk about how he only has to work one day of the year but that’s over-simplifying things. Remember, he’s got to spend the rest of the year observing kids all over the planet to find out who’s been naughty and who’s been nice. That’s a monstrous job and while some of the work has been outsourced to India he has to do most of it himself.

This year it all became too much for him and he had a breakdown yesterday evening. He was then moved to the Priory where he’ll stay until such time as he is fully recovered”.

Lapland police have refused to comment on reports that he battered 14 elves to death before shooting Rudolf in the head. Large quantities of amphetamines and a crack pipe were also found in his workshop.

The stockpile of Christmas presents is being dealt with by DHL who say they’ll try and deliver as many as possible but have so far been unable to replicate Santa’s ability to climb down three thousand, five hundred and ninety-seven chimneys every second.