The recent terrorist attacks in the Indian city of Mumbai have shocked the world yet cultural experts have declared the events to be of ‘little importance’ and claimed they will be forgotten by history within weeks.

Hitler has no opinion on Mumbai

A team of so-called Cultural Scientists set-up by professors and academics at Trinity College in Dublin has outlined the criteria by which incidents across the globe will be classified. Using what they call the ‘Downfall Postulation’ the importance and relevance of a particular event or circumstance can be guaged.

Professor Jim Mongon explains, “Basically the more important an occurance is the quicker somebody will make a hilarious subtitled video of Bruno Ganz as Hitler from the film ‘Downfall’. So we can see that Arsenal beating Spurs, Microsoft taking away people’s xBox live accounts and Cristiano Ronaldo’s on-off move to Real Madrid last summer were highly important.

These videos were up on YouTube within hours of those things taking place. We have scoured YouTube since the Mumbai attacks and not one video of Hitler complaining to his generals with incredibly funny and not at all tedious, boring and tired English subtitles has been made. He does not complain about nobody seeing the terrorists, he does not rant about how such a thing could be allowed happen, and no mockery is made of what was one of the finest acting performances of the 21st century but has since become a big joke.

Without a Hitler/Downfall video you might as well just forget about it and move on”.

From an Irish perspective we have seen all the greatest moments of recent times immortalised in this way. Hitler complaining about Mary Harney taking away the cervical cancer vaccine, Hitler spewing about Colm and Jim Jim’s ‘funny as cancer’ TV show, Hitler screaming that Andy Reid should be brought into the Irish team to bring some quality to the squad and Hitler bemoaning the fact that Eamonn Keane on Newstalk hasn’t been brought to task for sounding so very bumptious every day of the week.

Until Mumbai can claim Hitler’s ire then the world needs to focus on more important matters.