There have been calls today to outlaw all dogs after a toddler was savaged by a family pet in Artane yesterday. Liam Reilly (2) required 9,000 stitches to his face and upper lip after being attacked by ‘Mungo’, the Reilly family dog.

Mungo was taken to the local vet’s office and put to sleep shortly afterwards. Jacinta Reilly, Liam’s mother, told the Irish Sentinel that the dog had never previously shown any signs of aggression. “He was a lovely dog, so he was. We never seen nothing bad from him, like. I mean, there was that one time when we took him to the Botanic Gardens and he went running around in the long plants and the trees trying to eviscerate people with his razor sharp claws, but he was always good as gold around the kids”.

Mungo, who was part Rottweiler, part Velociraptor, is said to have grabbed the toddler when he inadvertently stood on his tail. Liam’s father, Miley, fought with the animal to free his son who was then rushed to Beaumont Hospital.

Mungo - before he went bad like a Muslim pilot

The attack has led politicians to consider new legislation which could lead to dogs being made illegal. Fianna Fail junior minister with responsibility for dogs, cats and donkeys, Cyprian Brady, said “I think what’s obvious here is that if one dog is capable of doing something like this then any dog is capable of it. We have to think about the children of Ireland. Yes, some might accuse us of not thinking about them when it comes to education, leaving them to grow up semi-literate halfwits, but at least they won’t be hideously scarred semi-literate halfwits. You have to look at the bigger picture here”.

But animal welfare groups have lambasted the minister. Fred Stone of the DSPCAETBATOBMA (Dublin Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Except Turtles Because A Turtle Once Bit My Anus) said “It’s madness. Saying all dogs are capable of this kind of savagery is like saying all humans are capable of being rapists or murderers or fans of Ryan Tubridy. It’s absurd. I don’t hear him calling for the extermination of the human race, oh no. These politicians have too much invested in humans to let that happen but dogs are expendable. We shall fight this all the way to the top”.

This is the forty-seventh dog attack in October alone, the most serious coming when a pack of radical Islamic Weimaraners barricaded themselves into a Coolmine primary school, holding teachers and pupils hostage with automatic weapons. Sixteen people and four dogs died as Garda Special forces ended the stand-off after three days, many children were found seriously ill having been forced to consume halal kibble by the dogs.