The threat of all out industrial action loomed over TV3 last night as bosses reacted to the worldwide credit crunch with plans to outsource jobs to American companies.

In a bid to save the failing company, who posted losses of €40 just last week, it has been decided to move the entire weather operation to WKBC in Kansas whose weathermen will record specially localised versions of their bulletins for the Irish market.

It is expected that this will save TV3 millions every year as the specially modified suits to cover Martin King’s belly cost upwards of €100,000 each. And a new wide-angled lens is required once a week.

Keane: Desperately ringing for new work

Fans of girly entertainment show Exposé will also be disappointed as Lorraine Keane and the rest of her make-up caked coven will be made redundant. With the vast majority of the mindless fluff on the show coming from Hollywood TV3 executives have hired Candice Cruise, an actress and part-time waitress from Hooters on Ventura Boulevard, to take over.

The flagship morning show, Ireland AM, has not escaped the cuts either. Despite its large audience, often reaching double figures, it is felt that the number of people involved is too high. As such every segment will now be presented by Mark Cagney with Aidan Cooney taking over as the Odlums lady.

Insiders aren’t happy though with one anonymous TV3 presenter telling us “Ahh, howya?! Are ya well? This is a disgrace, so it is. They can’t treat us like this. It’s immoral and we won’t stand for it. Before I go any further a big ‘Hi!’ to Marie from Borris in Ossory who’s 74 today and that’s from your grandson Sean who drew this lovely picture of a duck.

The viewers won’t like these Americans doing our jobs. They want Irish people on an Irish TV channel”, he winked, making sure he didn’t turn side on to the camera.

A TV3 boss responded, saying “It seems the only way to save the company from going into liquidation is to cut costs and with cheaper labour costs and better access to Z-list celebrities the US is always going to be at an advantage. It’s unfortunate for our staff but we have to think of the bigger picture”.

But media expert Lance Screener told the Irish Sentinel he didn’t think such cuts were a necessity. “Oh, TV3 could survive quite easily. They just want to get rid of some of the dead wood and don’t have the balls to tell them they’re crap”.

This news comes just weeks after the winter schedule was announced with stand-out shows like ‘George Hook’s speedo challenge‘ and ‘seX-Factor‘, a show designed to find Ireland’s most entertaining genitalia, now in serious doubt.