Harney: Giz a bit of that Yorkie...

Mary Harney has announced today that women who wish to have their cancer results rechecked will not be charged for the privilege. The health service are kindly absorbing the cost.

In a completely unrelated story, a man was accidentally served a putrid, piss-covered  badger carcass in a top Dublin restaurant yesterday. The Sentinel learned that the customer had actually ordered the monkfish but there had been some kind of mix-up amongst the kitchen staff.

The head chef responsible for the incident did not apologise for the shit-storm of errors that occurred, nor will he face any health and safety disciplinary measures.

Suitably outraged, the customer proceeded to describe the chef as a “flaming cock juggler” and that he was not fit to cook toast.

An Bord Bia have seemingly turned a blind eye to the matter and the chef continues to operate the restaurant  as if nothing has happened.

The chef later stated that the man could come back to the restaurant at any time to have the monkfish he originally ordered, without charge.

: Reaction from displeased customer Gary Funt earlier today

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