Ahead of today’s pre-Dáil seminar in Tralee, a local meeting of The Irish Green Party has mooted the changing of their name from ‘Comhaontas Glas’ to ‘The Black Cross with Arms Thingy on a Striking Red and White Background Party’. The title ‘The Khaki Supremacists’ was also suggested.

The gathering, which was held in the parish hall of Our Lady of Perpetual Shame, Gorey, was attended by upwards of sixteen local activists and three irate would-be T’ai Chi practitioners.

‘The suggestion received enthusiastic support’ said Pádghraigh Rutger , the evening’s lispingly camp main speaker. ‘There is a strong feeling among the erstwhilely named Gorey Greens that the colour green and all it’s so called ‘earth-saving’ connotations have long jarred with the central tenants of our party. We are no longer a pack of reefer passing beatniks intent on depriving hard-working full time mothers with live-in childcare of their SUVs. Clodagh and Fionn have nowt to fear from us. We’re all about power these days. Power at any cost. And the word ‘green’ is no longer chopping the mustard.’

The Gorey Greens get together

Pressed on whether the symbol in question was in fact a replica of the swastika emblem used by the Nazi regime, Rutger became bullish:

‘We don’t want to be the new Nazi party. The ‘Black Cross with Arms Thingy on a Striking Red Background’ is by no means a swastika. And even if it is, the swastika originates from an ancient Hindu symbol that symbolically symbolises symbolism of some description. And while we’re certainly not too fond of Somalians, our party is not necessarily in favour of the deportation and extermination of the Jewish people. ‘

And the next step? Rutger intends taking the proposal to his political masters.

‘The Fianna Fáil run Gorey Neighbourhood Watch scheme have the final say in all such major decisions. But I’m confident that our superiors will see things our way. And if they don’t, may I be branded with a star and gasily showered for causing displeasure to my Overlords.’

The meeting was broken up to allow the regular users of the hall to perform ‘The Passing of The Wind’.