Despite recent talk about the Progressive Democrats coming to the end of their political lives the Irish Sentinel can exclusively reveal that talks have begun which will save Ireland’s most useless political party.

With just two sitting TDs, Minister for Plague Mary Harney, and Noel Grealish, famous more for being the adoptive father of former Republic of Ireland star Tony Grealish, the outlook was bleak. From the dizzying heights of Dessie O’Malley, Liz O’Donnell and Michael McDowell the PDs stock has never been lower.

However, in a revolutionary move it is believed that party leaders met with American rap superstar Sean Combs and will relaunch themselves next month as the PDiddies. An insider, who asked not to be named, said “It’s the only way we could survive. We are confident that we can secure more seats in the next general election on a ticket of rap, guns, a questionable fashion label and a far-right wing view on immigration. Members will be asked to vote on the merger at the party conference, held upstairs in the Ha’apenny Inn, next week but we don’t foresee any problems”.

It will be the very first link-up between an Irish political party and a musical act although the Socialist Workers Party’s attempts to join Bagatelle on a six-week tour of Ireland proved to the be downfall of Proinsias de Rosa in 1989. More recently a poli-sport association was mooted by the second largest party in the country but Arsenal’s left back refused to lend his name to Fine Gael Clichy.