Newspaper of the Century | The 2008 Hijinx Awards
154 die in southside church stampede
At least 154 people were killed and hundreds more injured after a stampede at Mount Argus church near Harold’s Cross in Dublin.
Officials say severe overcrowding was to blame as thousands of people flocked back to the Catholic faith in the wake of the recent financial crisis.
“There is no doubt the toll will rise”, said Father [...]
Galway water crisis worsens
The Environmental Protection Agency has called for the resignation of John Gormley after discovering that drinking water in Galway is giving people AIDS.
A new study showed that almost the whole water supply in the county is infected with the disease and experts are warning that things could get worse unless urgent action is taken. Public [...]
Ireland issues Ireland demands
Manchester City Star, Stephen Ireland, has issued new Republic of Ireland football supremo, Giovanni Trappatoni, a list of demands which he wants met before he will consider resuming his international career. Irishman, Ireland has not played for Ireland since he controversially left the squad prior to the Euro 2008 qualifier versus Czech Republic in September [...]
Finnish shooting just another instance of European evilness, claim Libertas
Libertas spokeswoman Philomena Cobraman today cited the tragic events in Jokela, Finland as yet another example of the dangers inherent in further integration with the European project.
Speaking last night to The Irish Sentinel, Mrs Cobraman claimed that under a provision contained in Article 16, Subsection S, Paragraph 3, Word 87 of the Lisbon Treaty, Ireland [...]
Eddie Hobbs enjoying nation’s plunge into recession
Irish celebrity account Eddie Hobbs has reacted with glee to the news that the country is officially in a recession for the first time since 1983.
The star of TV hits such as ‘Show me the money’, ‘Spend it like Beckham’, ‘Eddie’s Euro Vision’ and ‘Eddie does Dallas’ today held a press conference in Captain America’s [...]
Women will not be charged for cancer recheck
Mary Harney has announced today that women who wish to have their cancer results rechecked will not be charged for the privilege. The health service are kindly absorbing the cost.
In a completely unrelated story, a man was accidentally served a putrid, piss-covered badger carcass in a top Dublin restaurant yesterday. The Sentinel learned that the [...]
Dail debate sparks angry words
The Dail resumed after its summer break today and the opposition were quick to round on the government for the state of the economy.
Leading the charge was Labour leader Eamonn Gilmore who accused Taoiseach Brian Cowen of doing nothing and claimed that 146,000 people had lost their jobs since he took over as leader of [...]
Left Out in the Poled
Thousands of Polish nationals have expressed their disgust as the influx of foreign nationals into the country coupled with the downturn in the Irish economy has seen many of them lose their jobs. With the slowdown in the housing market many building contractors are looking to cut costs and have pinpointed the large number of Poles working [...]
GAA football final to be replayed
The GAA today announced they are considering having the 2008 Football Final replayed due to a breach of one of the most obscure articles of the GAA charter.
Kerry fans may find themselves thrown a lifeline, albeit one too late for the dozens of fanatical supporters who threw themselves from the top of Valentia lighthouse after [...]
HSE in fresh misdiagnosis outrage
There was further condemnation of the health service today as it was revealed that a seriously injured man was sent him from Clare General Hospital last week. The man has since died and relatives are calling for an independent enquiry into the circumstances surrounding his death.
Terrence Brown, from Ennis, arrived in the emergency room at [...]

